I want to walk you through an illustration.  An analogy.  Let’s say that you have a wayward daughter.  Because I do not want to have the legality of this be an issue, let’s say that she is 18 years old.  She still lives home with you and your husband.  We’ll call her Jane.

Jane is in a bad relationship.  She is dating a guy that is no good for her and you know it.  There are reasons why he is no good, but I also don’t want the specific reasons to be an issue in this illustration, so let’s just leave it at he is no good.  We’ll call him Joe.

You find out that Jane is sexually active with Joe.  It breaks your heart.  You know that it is not what God wants for her.  What will you do?

If you are a Christian mother, you will talk with Jane.  You will point her to the Scripture and try your very best to guide her toward reconciling her life to align with God’s will for it.  Right?  There will be discussions over why premarital sex is wrong (a sin) and why it is harmful for her, both now and in the future.

You have this conversation because you love her.  You know what is right and what is wrong.  You may have even made those same mistakes yourself and know that God’s path is so much better an alternative.  You want to protect her.  You want to encourage Jane to live in accordance with God’s design for her, for her future marriage and spouse.

How do you know what is right and good?  You know because you read the Bible.  You listen to your Pastor’s sermons.  You read Bible study books and watch DVDs.  You pray and seek out God’s direction.  You listen to music that keeps Him at the focus.  You work on knowing Him better.

So, now let’s analyze how this analogy is different than how we are to behave when it comes to the Same Sex Marriage issue.  For those of us that are Bible believing Christians, I suggest that it shouldn’t be.  Just as it is clear that it is not truly “mean” to point out the error in your daughter’s ways – as uncomfortable and difficult as it might prove to be, it is likewise not “mean” to share that same knowledge of God’s ways outside the walls of your home.

Many professing Bible believing Christians are struggling with how to act during these times.  I am one of those people wondering how you can speak the Truth lovingly.  It almost seems contradictory.   Just how do you point out sin lovingly?!  To those that don’t want to hear it, it will never sound like loving.

But if Jane’s mother never points her back to the Right way, Jane will just continue down an ever-darkening path.  That is why, as Jane’s mom that loves her, you will do the hard thing and speak the Truth.

I realize that it appears to be an unpopular opinion to state that Same Sex Marriage is wrong, but it is.

Just as I completely understand that Jane will not just want to hear her mother’s message and will struggle against it.  Jane is in the throws of her decision.  She has convinced herself that Joe loves her and that this was a perfectly acceptable decision to make.  Jane thinks that she and Joe are going to get married.  She thinks that God isn’t displeased with her over this because they “love” each other.

Believe me, I know.  I was like Jane (so ashamed to admit it, but this is hugely important).  When my mom discovered that I was sexually active, she cried and tried to counsel me back to a right relationship with the Lord.  I resisted.  Those that aren’t ready to hear and accept what God has for their life will resist too.  It is natural.

It is not, however, a reason to not pursue the right thing.  I thank God I had a mother that loved Him and me enough to pursue me.  It was the most loving thing she ever did.

Just as Jane is unwilling at this point to give up what she really believes with her whole heart is “love”, so too those in gay relationships are thoroughly convinced that this is really love and that it, therefore, cannot be wrong.

That isn’t what the Bible says.  The Bible says that homosexuality is a sin.  The Bible also says that premarital sex is a sin.  It is not loving to deny the scripture for the sake of individual’s comfort in their sin.

In my case, my mom pursued me and prayed for me.  I would love to tell you that I reconciled to her and to God during her pursuit.  I didn’t.  I was wayward for years.  I even grew to dislike and disrespect her.  Having recently lost my mom, this is hard for me to write and to admit.  But, it is true.  And this is important.  I had journals (that I’ve since destroyed) that chronicled just how horrible I thought she was.  Why did I think that way of my own loving mother???  The answer is simple.  I ‘hated’ her because she made me feel badly about myself.  She knew that I was choosing to live in sin.  I didn’t want to be constantly reminded of my rebellion.  I didn’t want her to be praying for me.  I didn’t need her prayers!  That is how I genuinely felt.  For years.  Sigh.  Oh, to redeem that time.  I was so resentful of her and her ‘judging ways’ that I moved out on my 18th birthday so that I could find my ‘freedom’.  I chose to live in an unfinished attic of a friend’s home in order to escape it.

Guess what?  He wasn’t good for me.  My mom was right.  In fact, he ended up sleeping with a (supposedly) very good friend not too far down the road of life.  It was heartbreaking for me.  I was devastated.  I thought he genuinely loved me.  I thought that we were going to get married someday (and that getting married was going to make the fact that we had sex okay).

Now guess who was right there for me (and had never left)?  My mom.  Her love was genuine and real.  She wasn’t willing to just give me the easy and good side of things.  She wanted me to know and to believe in the Truth.  I will forever be grateful for her.

You know when I finally reconciled with God?  It took longer than it did to reconcile to my mother, I can tell you that.  God used that very same sin of premarital sex to put my brakes on and bring me to my knees.  I became pregnant through relations with my new boyfriend (and now husband) while I was in my young 20s.  I wasn’t ready for that.  I still had so much partying to do!  I cried.  I thought my world was crashing down around me.  Ed didn’t though.  Ed was thrilled that I was pregnant.  He loved the fact that we were going to start a family together.  Ed was 9 years my senior and he had his fill of partying already.

The sobering (literally) reality that I was on the path to being a mom was what was needed to get me realigned with my Maker.  I had to immediately stop my binge drinking – which had sadly become a very regular part of my life.  In fact, I was probably out getting drunk a good 5 out of 7 days each week.  But, early on in my life I knew that I loved and cherished babies.  Now that I was carrying one in my belly, I was going to do right by it!  Then came the discussions of how we were going to become a family. Sadly, we had to have a discussion about whether or not we were going to get married before or after the baby was born.  (one of the things that I am sure my mom desired to protect me from – and a sure sign that I was living outside of God’s design and plan)  When Ed and I approached my former Youth Pastor to ask him to marry us, he was happy to do so…provided we started coming for counseling and committed to doing things right from this point forward.  That meant that I stopped cohabitating with Ed (also not in God’s plan) and back into my mom’s home.  It meant that Ed and I ceased having sexual relations until we were married.  Almost seemed silly to me at the time, but I am so grateful that he required us to do that.  It was at those counseling sessions that I recommitted my life to Christ and that my husband accepted him for the first time!

Back to Jane (or me)….It is with much clearer vision now (funny how things become so clear years later), that I know that my mom did then exactly what I would do with my child(ren) now.  She tried desperately to have me see the error of my ways.  She cried and prayed for me.  She endured much disrespect and mistreatment from me.  She never, ever stopped loving me.

It is my opinion that we, as Christians, are not being kind when we do not speak the Truth, or worse, when we try to change the Truth to make it easier to hear.

Just as I was thoroughly convinced that me and “Joe” someday were going to get married and that was going to make things right, so too the gay community thinks that if SSM is passed and their lifestyle choices appear to be ‘normal’ that this will make things right.  It won’t.  They need the Lord.  They need to come back into alignment with God’s design and plan for their lives.

Helping them to feel accepted is not loving.  Perhaps it isn’t easy for gay people to be around you because they will feel uncomfortable knowing that you see their sin for what it is.  Those that choose to live in that sin do not want to feel the conviction of that sin, and knowing what you believe will undoubtedly make them uncomfortable.  I do not think that should be a reason for us to hide what we believe.  Or worse, for us to alter what we know is right.  I cannot even imagine how sad it made my mom for her to know that I disliked her and didn’t want to be around her.  But, you know who was really wrong in that situation??  Me!  Where would I be now if she had caved into the desire I am sure that she had all of those years for me to just like her again?  What if she stopped praying for me?  I shudder to think about it.  Thank God I had a mother that loved me enough to love me even when it was hard.

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